No man is an island and in one way or another, we must socialise with people and most times it leads to friendship, dating and marriage. This is the reason i have decided to introduce a new section to Entyna's World and that is the relationship zone.
I would be sharing posts from great relationship experts, guest writers and also posting personal articles.
My first article is written by self-help writer and author of the book A Cheating Man's Heart, Derrick Jaxn. Read, learn, enjoy and share.
Let's get one thing clear, there is no such thing as a main chick. If there's more than one involved, then everybody's a side; one piece is just bigger than the other.
But most women who are side chicks, aren't coming second to another woman, but rather to the fear of what could go wrong from requiring more. They say things like, "At least I got a man." No, he has you-wrapped around his finger, safely away from a man who's ready and willing to love you because you think your loyalty will change him into a better man.
You've been played so much, you feel like a man who's faithful is some kind of bonus as opposed to the bare minimum that it should be. You know you aren't happy, but being able to convince everyone else you are is enough to help you hold on a little longer. Accept your reality or change it; but you can't deny it forever.
Trust me, I get the whole down for whatever thing; you don't want to hog a man's time and attention because you're not selfish, right? But why be with someone who'll ask you hush while the game is on but can't turn his phone off while the two of you watch a movie? A man whose focus is never completely yours unless he's trying to come or he's telling you he's hungry. Answer that out loud on the first try without stuttering.
Pay attention and you'll notice that these are the same women that will talk shit to a genuinely happy single woman with all her bills paid and money left over, then dare her to give any advice on life.
"You wish you had a man", says the miserably taken woman.
"You wish he was a man", responds the single woman with sense enough to leave that other side of the bed vacant instead of getting placeholder penis to run her miles up and eat all her groceries.
Yes you can do better, but not if you're afraid of being alone and finally doing nothing. Nothing, as in being alone on the weekend while everybody else is cuddled up. Nothing as in wishing you had someone to give you Valentine's Day candy so you could post it on Instagram. Nothing as in going to the movies in your pajamas, getting a large popcorn, and licking your fingers when you're done because you don't give a shit who's offended.
Not the kind of nothing where you stand by and wipe your brow that you're not like "all these single chicks" while your man is tricking you into feeling proud he's stuck around this long. Not the kind of nothing where you settle for the only quality time spent being in his spare time.
The fact you're willing to give it your all entitles you to more than just the bare minimum. You want creativity, effort, respect, someone who keeps himself up physically and financially so he can spoil you from time to time; not just a man who's faithful, then require that. Save the "I know my worth" speech because you're only getting paid what you're willing to charge. You've never went to McDonald's, ordered a double cheeseburger and then gave the clerk an extra 20 because of its "worth". A man is no different. Is he wrong? No. Everyone loves a good deal.
His credentials of why he's a good guy doesn't make him the good guy for you; not his education, his job, or the fact that he comes home every night. You'll always be a side chick so long as you're in love with the thought of something real while being faithful to your fantasy.
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