African men have been raised with the notion that it is only a weak ling that cries. To see a black man cry over a woman, he must love her very much and been badly hurt.
Women keep talking about being betrayed and having their hearts broken but no one has ever thought about the men who were jilted by the women they trusted. It takes a man, a lot of time to love and trust a woman. If he ever gets hurt, he would run back into his shell and never love again in some cases. Some even become rebellious and hurt everyone they know.
Here are a few ways to know Mr A (name for any man) has been hurt and has cried;
1. He says all women are the same and he would rather not date. He is anti-dating, he would rather be alone than try to associate with a woman. He spends his spare time alone or with his friends.
2. He is an MVP (most valuable player), he has one night stands and flings with several women. He tries not to bond with anyone and whenever any woman tries to get closer, he pushes her away. He tells her from the start he wants nothing serious, if she's game they get down and if not, she walks away.
3. He wants kids but not a wifey. He is ready to pay any lady to have kids for him but he wants no marriage. He would do anything for his kids but avoid their mother in a romantic way.
4. He keeps lots of female friends and would even hang out with them. He even goes the extra mile of scaring off prospective dates by flirting with a female friend in public or pretend he is gay.
5. He is your boyfriend's friend who laughs at you and your man. He sees no good in dating. He would never encourage anyone to date or remain lovers. Relationships are a big NO to him and he would thrash it. He would give your man a thousand reasons while being single is better than being in a relationship. This man has been so hurt that he rubs his fear of dating on others.
6. He is unpredictable, Mr A and you have been speaking on phone and chatting constantly for a month, then suddenly he starts being cold. You call and he hardly ever picks up. You send messages and it takes him days or hours to respond. This man who has been a buddy and who you thought was already having emotional feelings for you is gradually becoming a stranger. There you are wondering what you did wrong. My darling, you did nothing to him. Mr A is going through the Withdrawal syndrome. He has been so hurt that he feels that running away from getting close to a woman is the best.
7. He is the co-worker or boss who never smiles. He puts in all he has into his work and grows in his career speedily. Mr A is the nerd who everyone calls a Kill-Joy. He keeps to himself and lives in a world of his own.
8. He drinks and party hard. Mr A is the life of the party. The Baba Jaiye Jaiye ( Party rocker, enjoyment master) you know. He looks forward to friday all week and he boozes like a fish. All the bouncers in clubs know him, he is the life of any party in an out of town. Deep down is a broken man. He has cried and decided to live life to the fullest. Please before you start judging him, know the face behind the mask.
A broken man is worse than a broken woman. When a woman betrays the trust of a man, he either walks away, revenges or remind her at every chance he gets. There is nothing more heartbreaking than the cry of a man. Most women have been hurt by a man who has cried or has been the reason why a man has cried. Either way, i pray every woman who is going through the pain cursed by a broken man, is healed. I advice you do not force yourself on him. Let him heal gradually and try to be friendly without being desperate or rude.
To every man who i and other women have made cry, i apologise and i hope you get off the road of self-destruction. No woman is worth hurting your self over. Life is beautiful and love is refreshing. See the beauty of love again and do not let your ugly experience let you give up. Forgive those who hurt you and if you can, let her back in your life but if you cannot let her go. Do not punish another woman for what ur ex did to you. No one deserves to be hurt for loving you. You might not get THE ONE on your first attempt but keep trying and you surely will soon.
I wish every heart broken and crushed man out there the strength and love they deserve in 2016. I love you all #hugs.
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